Fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah!

ALl types of funky dope hits for yo monkee ass! I'm just tryin to keep it 100, and fake as rape! It's a party not a cadillac, be yacht chee.

dear world, i am a recluse, hahaha, I’ve blocked out my windows with beach towels, about every hour or so I peek out of my peep whole to make sure all is well in my hallway, besides work I haven’t spoken to any one in like 3 or 4 days, I must say I enjoy pretending like I’m the only person on the planet. Theirs a dog here, it’s not mine, i walk her and feed her, she doesn’t talk and the only time she interacts with me is when she wants something. Recently I’ve taken a liking to working out and online window shopping for kitchen appliances. If i haven’t texted you or called you back it’s because my phone died, and i don’t know or care where it is. Sweat suits have become the norm for me, it’s like wearing a blanket everywhere you go, for entertainment I weigh random things on my digital scale. I decided that  don’t need t.v. anymore so i cancelled my cable and internet, now i just steal it from somebody in my apartment building, the only place i get a signal is the bathroom, showering in the dark is romantic, it makes me feel strong, that last comment was weird. Before I leave to work I cue ancient aliens on youtube so I can watch it when I get home, it’s the only thing I look forward to. my house looks like somebody died in it and the family left it as it was. last week I became an athlete and since I have dropped two pant sizes, I wish the sun would come out so i could go to the beach, I want to buy a tent and go to the beach, a tent will shield me from the sun and people, I have to buy some nike cross trainers, I work out in my work out studio (my empty living room) barefoot and I feel like an african warrior. I’m an artist! hahahaha……. that is all for today. god bless you.

dear world, i am a recluse, hahaha, I’ve blocked out my windows with beach towels, about every hour or so I peek out of my peep whole to make sure all is well in my hallway, besides work I haven’t spoken to any one in like 3 or 4 days, I must say I enjoy pretending like I’m the only person on the planet. Theirs a dog here, it’s not mine, i walk her and feed her, she doesn’t talk and the only time she interacts with me is when she wants something. Recently I’ve taken a liking to working out and online window shopping for kitchen appliances. If i haven’t texted you or called you back it’s because my phone died, and i don’t know or care where it is. Sweat suits have become the norm for me, it’s like wearing a blanket everywhere you go, for entertainment I weigh random things on my digital scale. I decided that  don’t need t.v. anymore so i cancelled my cable and internet, now i just steal it from somebody in my apartment building, the only place i get a signal is the bathroom, showering in the dark is romantic, it makes me feel strong, that last comment was weird. Before I leave to work I cue ancient aliens on youtube so I can watch it when I get home, it’s the only thing I look forward to. my house looks like somebody died in it and the family left it as it was. last week I became an athlete and since I have dropped two pant sizes, I wish the sun would come out so i could go to the beach, I want to buy a tent and go to the beach, a tent will shield me from the sun and people, I have to buy some nike cross trainers, I work out in my work out studio (my empty living room) barefoot and I feel like an african warrior. I’m an artist! hahahaha……. that is all for today. god bless you.

International press release for Miguels second book.

"Today I will begin work on my second book, the first book was stolen or disappeared, which is good, because the world was not ready for that kind of lit. This book however will be comprised of fictional short stories or not, I don’t really know I’m not in charge of my mind, I leave all major decisions to the voices which I refer to as the p.o.m. Panel Of Madness. I think this should take two months. To all of my true fans, no I did not finish the children’s book because it was psychotic, and yes I did finish the self help book titled "S.H.I.T.? yeah!" Self Help Is There? YEAH! a question and an answer, but then I realized that it would help nobody." 

-Miguel, “exert from USA today article.”

"Miguel might be the greatest writer to never write a book!"

-Joshua Hammer, New York Times

I love hospitals and medical systems! 5:00 am, I arrive in the ER at the world famous Woodhull hospital, “How may i help you?” “I’m was awoke severe sharp chest pains thats that occur when I take breathes and cough.” “Ok sir, I will send your info to the triage nurse” HHMMM.. after about ten miinutes the nurse calls my name, “So it says here that you have a cold? “Uh no I told the man im expierencing chest pains!” “Oh my! lets go!” they proceed to rush me into a large room filled with homeless people tell me to take off all my clothes and lay on the bed, and then they cover me in stickers and a jamaican lady reads my vitals and starts taking my blood! After this I am rushed to the x ray room, where I sit and watch a hole episode of “Tyler perry’s house of pyane!” Finally a white man brings me into the xray lab where he first prepares his fresh cup of coffee while listening to pearl jam. Bam Boom, xrays done I’m back on my bed being pushed through woodhull, and then i wait. FOR SIX HOURS! i forgot to mention they drugged me. Finally the doctor comes by and tells me “you have costochondritis.” Oh ok cool, what does that mean oh great doctor? “Well, you have inflammation of the cartilage that attaches the rib cage to the breast bone, it comes from straining of the chest muscles, have you been coughing a lot?” head shake of dissaproval, i got ibuprofen and left. 9 hours gone. 

i have pictures of my cellmate, the tyler perry show and a huge hair weave, an IV to no where, the radiation room, and the awes 1st person few i had for six hours! enjoy.

ps, do you  have an emergency contact, would you like us to call your wife no she’s in another country on holiday. we have phone cards for the D.R. and Puerto Rico. hahaha

Goomba first mate entry number 42.
It has been six suns since the booty* was whisked away by the great Luck Dragon* to unknown lands. In the time pass captain Blackman has reduced to a mere shadow of himself occupying his time with angry incomprehensible grunts and assigning the crew with remedial task to fill the hours in the day and maintain the facade as our strong fearless leader which he so desperately needs to be. When he is not ranting about, he perches himself high upon the 1st mass of the  enormous black wood schooner with a box of his foul tobacco that we pillaged from the newport of Carolina de Norte, forever accompanied with a jug of fancy wine stolen from king Carlo Rossi’s * very own private collection. It is there where he watches the sun for hours on in, it is as if he is negotiating the terms of shorting the days so that we may lay to rest these wretched times. To no avail the days seem to drag on forever. I truly feel sorry for Cookie monster, for he has been given the most tedious task of tracking the luck dragons origins. Due to his higher levels of education which he received at the University of Salamanca in the Kingdom of Leon*,  captain black man bestowed all the weight of this jaunting duty solely upon his broad blue shoulders. Two night ago while feasting upon a bowl of dried plum and cod soup, Cookie confessed to me that the luck dragon had plans on returning the treasure to the doorstep of the captains quarters in 24 suns. Cookie was undoubtedly reluctant to share this knowledge with captain Blackman out of fear that the information may be soiled with lies and hidden agendas. So to avoid malarkey and complete chaos he did his very best to stir us in the direction of clear skies and motionless water as to make it easier for the luck dragon to find the vessel, all the while satisfying the captains lust to recapture what was once his. I pray that this day does indeed come to fruition for all of our sake, until that moment i am forced to sit idly while watching the once jovial and beautiful ship known as the Brooklyn Grand take transformation in to a murky image of its former self painted with a vile and pungent stench of despair with shades evil unknown to man. I don’t know when I will be able to write another entry for the risk of arousing suspicion is great, but I hope to soon inform you my dear journal of great happenings in the distant yet near future.
Yours Truly. First Mate Sir Goomba Von Braun.

BOOTY
Another word for treasure often used by pirates, Treasure (from Greek θησαυρος; thesaurus, meaning “a treasure of the chest”, is a cognate) is a concentration of riches, often one which is considered lost or forgotten until being rediscovered. Some jurisdictions legally define what constitutes treasure, such as in the British Treasure Act 1996.
THE LUCK DRAGON
Also know as Falkor from the Never ending story
Falkor (Fuchur in German) is a luckdragon and a friend of Atreyu and Bastian. He is the only luckdragon to appear, although five others are mentioned in passing. He helps Atreyu in his quest to find a cure for the Empress after escaping the web of Ygramul the Many. He is also well known for stealing pirates booty.
KING CARLO ROSSI
Carlo Rossi is a brand of wine produced by the E & J Gallo Winery. The brand was named after Charles Rossi, at the time a salesman for Gallo and a relation of the Gallo family by marriage. Charlie Rossi starred in TV ads for the brand in the 1970s. Carlo Rossi wines were at one point the second best selling brand in the United States. Carlo Rossi is reflected in popular culture in E-40’s single, “Carlos Rossi.” He is also an Italian king in the mind of a mad man (me)
THE KINGDOM OF LEON
 The Kingdom of León (Asturian: Reinu de Llión, Spanish: Reino de León, Galician: Reino de León, Portuguese: Reino de Leão, Latin: Regnum Legionense) was an independent kingdom situated in the northwest region of the Iberian Peninsula. It was founded in AD 910 when the Christian princes of Asturias along the northern coast of the peninsula shifted their capital from Oviedo to the city of León. The County of Portugal separated to become the independent Kingdom of Portugal in 1139 and the eastern, inland part of León was joined to the Kingdom of Castile in 1230.

From 1296 to 1301, the Kingdom of León was again independent and after the re-union with Castile remained a kingdom until 1833, but as part of a unitedSpain. In the Royal Decree of 30 November 1833, the Kingdom of León was considered one of the Spanish regions and divided into the provinces of León,Zamora and Salamanca. In 1978, these three provinces of the region of León were included along with six provinces of the historic region of Old Castile to create the autonomous community of Castile and León.

Goomba first mate entry number 42.

It has been six suns since the booty* was whisked away by the great Luck Dragon* to unknown lands. In the time pass captain Blackman has reduced to a mere shadow of himself occupying his time with angry incomprehensible grunts and assigning the crew with remedial task to fill the hours in the day and maintain the facade as our strong fearless leader which he so desperately needs to be. When he is not ranting about, he perches himself high upon the 1st mass of the  enormous black wood schooner with a box of his foul tobacco that we pillaged from the newport of Carolina de Norte, forever accompanied with a jug of fancy wine stolen from king Carlo Rossi’s * very own private collection. It is there where he watches the sun for hours on in, it is as if he is negotiating the terms of shorting the days so that we may lay to rest these wretched times. To no avail the days seem to drag on forever. I truly feel sorry for Cookie monster, for he has been given the most tedious task of tracking the luck dragons origins. Due to his higher levels of education which he received at the University of Salamanca in the Kingdom of Leon*,  captain black man bestowed all the weight of this jaunting duty solely upon his broad blue shoulders. Two night ago while feasting upon a bowl of dried plum and cod soup, Cookie confessed to me that the luck dragon had plans on returning the treasure to the doorstep of the captains quarters in 24 suns. Cookie was undoubtedly reluctant to share this knowledge with captain Blackman out of fear that the information may be soiled with lies and hidden agendas. So to avoid malarkey and complete chaos he did his very best to stir us in the direction of clear skies and motionless water as to make it easier for the luck dragon to find the vessel, all the while satisfying the captains lust to recapture what was once his. I pray that this day does indeed come to fruition for all of our sake, until that moment i am forced to sit idly while watching the once jovial and beautiful ship known as the Brooklyn Grand take transformation in to a murky image of its former self painted with a vile and pungent stench of despair with shades evil unknown to man. I don’t know when I will be able to write another entry for the risk of arousing suspicion is great, but I hope to soon inform you my dear journal of great happenings in the distant yet near future.

Yours Truly. First Mate Sir Goomba Von Braun.

BOOTY

Another word for treasure often used by pirates, Treasure (from Greek θησαυρος; thesaurus, meaning “a treasure of the chest”, is a cognate) is a concentration of riches, often one which is considered lost or forgotten until being rediscovered. Some jurisdictions legally define what constitutes treasure, such as in the British Treasure Act 1996.

THE LUCK DRAGON

Also know as Falkor from the Never ending story

Falkor (Fuchur in German) is a luckdragon and a friend of Atreyu and Bastian. He is the only luckdragon to appear, although five others are mentioned in passing. He helps Atreyu in his quest to find a cure for the Empress after escaping the web of Ygramul the Many. He is also well known for stealing pirates booty.

KING CARLO ROSSI

Carlo Rossi is a brand of wine produced by the E & J Gallo Winery. The brand was named after Charles Rossi, at the time a salesman for Gallo and a relation of the Gallo family by marriage. Charlie Rossi starred in TV ads for the brand in the 1970s. Carlo Rossi wines were at one point the second best selling brand in the United States. Carlo Rossi is reflected in popular culture in E-40’s single, “Carlos Rossi.” He is also an Italian king in the mind of a mad man (me)

THE KINGDOM OF LEON

 The Kingdom of León (AsturianReinu de LliónSpanishReino de LeónGalicianReino de LeónPortugueseReino de LeãoLatinRegnum Legionense) was an independent kingdom situated in the northwest region of the Iberian Peninsula. It was founded in AD 910 when the Christian princes of Asturias along the northern coast of the peninsula shifted their capital from Oviedo to the city of León. The County of Portugal separated to become the independent Kingdom of Portugal in 1139 and the eastern, inland part of León was joined to the Kingdom of Castile in 1230.

From 1296 to 1301, the Kingdom of León was again independent and after the re-union with Castile remained a kingdom until 1833, but as part of a unitedSpain. In the Royal Decree of 30 November 1833, the Kingdom of León was considered one of the Spanish regions and divided into the provinces of León,Zamora and Salamanca. In 1978, these three provinces of the region of León were included along with six provinces of the historic region of Old Castile to create the autonomous community of Castile and León.

Okay! Now that we have gotten the gift giving part down, let us shift our attention to a more pressing matter. Individualism, aka lonely, what is the point of receiving awesome gifts from your loved one (yourself) if their is nobody to show it off to?! Well let me tell you, being lonely is a state of mind, their was nobody there to give you the present why should they get the privilege of witnessing the joy that your present gives you, you made it this far without outside assistance why stop now! What i just did their was laid out the foundation of achieving individualism, which is a very tricky thing to do , I would go as far as to say it is a double edged sword. On one side you gain absolute freedom to be a selfish as all hell, on the other side you will learn to resent all those that you once adored, so unless you are ready to pack on some serious permanent pounds of hate, I suggest you use the “what about bob technic”  which is showing up unannounced to one of your “friends” christmas going ons, since it is the special day they will not be able to turn you away, but don’t overstay your welcome, because you actually aren’t really welcome so just eat and leave, maybe take a shit to assert your dominance over said family! “But wait goomba, how is this at all possible, I cant just show up, thats would be weird!” True, but don’t worry, I have you covered, you must use the tools that holidays provides you. I like to go christmas caroling by myself (wink), when people see you all alone trying to holiday spirt alone they feel bad about themselves,  especially if they actually know you, and bam just like that, warmth, tatters, gravy, ham, chicken! Before you know it daytime activities are concluded! (This trick does not work on black people) You can also try the I was in a hit n run accident while sledding by myself do you think i can use your cell phone no ones answering your calls because its christmas and then everyone realizes you’re actually planes trains and auto mobiling it and they invite you to afternoon christmas diner trick, but this requires snow.
Check back for 3rd installment “evening rituals” the night will indeed be silent!

Okay! Now that we have gotten the gift giving part down, let us shift our attention to a more pressing matter. Individualism, aka lonely, what is the point of receiving awesome gifts from your loved one (yourself) if their is nobody to show it off to?! Well let me tell you, being lonely is a state of mind, their was nobody there to give you the present why should they get the privilege of witnessing the joy that your present gives you, you made it this far without outside assistance why stop now! What i just did their was laid out the foundation of achieving individualism, which is a very tricky thing to do , I would go as far as to say it is a double edged sword. On one side you gain absolute freedom to be a selfish as all hell, on the other side you will learn to resent all those that you once adored, so unless you are ready to pack on some serious permanent pounds of hate, I suggest you use the “what about bob technic”  which is showing up unannounced to one of your “friends” christmas going ons, since it is the special day they will not be able to turn you away, but don’t overstay your welcome, because you actually aren’t really welcome so just eat and leave, maybe take a shit to assert your dominance over said family! “But wait goomba, how is this at all possible, I cant just show up, thats would be weird!” True, but don’t worry, I have you covered, you must use the tools that holidays provides you. I like to go christmas caroling by myself (wink), when people see you all alone trying to holiday spirt alone they feel bad about themselves,  especially if they actually know you, and bam just like that, warmth, tatters, gravy, ham, chicken! Before you know it daytime activities are concluded! (This trick does not work on black people) You can also try the I was in a hit n run accident while sledding by myself do you think i can use your cell phone no ones answering your calls because its christmas and then everyone realizes you’re actually planes trains and auto mobiling it and they invite you to afternoon christmas diner trick, but this requires snow.

Check back for 3rd installment “evening rituals” the night will indeed be silent!

Christmas time is here, and like many of you i will be spending it by myself! Now before you go getting all gay and sentimental, I do this every year and I’ve grown to like it, so to help all those that are new to being dolo on the big day I’m going to give you some pointers on how to make the most of it! The first thing i do every year is learn my enemies true intentions! Some of you might think that xmas is about being with you’re family, well you’re wrong xmas is about how many presents you can get, and it really doesn’t matter where they come from, therefore being with you’re “loved ones” doesn’t really matter as long as you’re getting what the world owes you! “Oh Goomba! But what if nobody give me a present:(!” Don’t worry about that, I’ve got you covered! the scientific definition of a present is something that you want and like wrapped in paper and or secured in a box of some sort with an certified  card/note that indicates it is yours and handed to you by a second party!  This time of the year most stores offer the option of GIFT wrapping it for you, once it is wrapped it becomes a gift, and when he/she hands it to you after said wrap it becomes your gift given to you by you! The best part of this whole loop hole is when you give yourself a gift you are giving and receiving at the same time so you kill two birds with one stone! 
Tune in tomorrow when i we talk about post present opening activities! 

Christmas time is here, and like many of you i will be spending it by myself! Now before you go getting all gay and sentimental, I do this every year and I’ve grown to like it, so to help all those that are new to being dolo on the big day I’m going to give you some pointers on how to make the most of it! The first thing i do every year is learn my enemies true intentions! Some of you might think that xmas is about being with you’re family, well you’re wrong xmas is about how many presents you can get, and it really doesn’t matter where they come from, therefore being with you’re “loved ones” doesn’t really matter as long as you’re getting what the world owes you! “Oh Goomba! But what if nobody give me a present:(!” Don’t worry about that, I’ve got you covered! the scientific definition of a present is something that you want and like wrapped in paper and or secured in a box of some sort with an certified  card/note that indicates it is yours and handed to you by a second party!  This time of the year most stores offer the option of GIFT wrapping it for you, once it is wrapped it becomes a gift, and when he/she hands it to you after said wrap it becomes your gift given to you by you! The best part of this whole loop hole is when you give yourself a gift you are giving and receiving at the same time so you kill two birds with one stone! 

Tune in tomorrow when i we talk about post present opening activities! 

Pot thoughts

if everybody jumped off a bridge.. YES! yes i would because it was probably crackin!

why would i put my eggs in a basket when i have a refridgerator (man thats a hard word to spell! refrigerator thanks google)

the word nail/s/ed. toe, finger, tough, sex. 

rebooks, what ever happen to those guys. And crystal clear pepsi! remember the seven up game for sega?

african american community festival queen latifa king way jacksin highway. 2048 cd freeway exit sign.

isnt  it funny that stoned only means being high or being a witch and killed by crazy white people with rocks.

shaq used to rap.

whinnie the pooh, christopher robins was schizophrenic! every episode of that show was the weird thoughts of a something.. something i can’t think of the word because i took pot, but you get it.

i forgot to return my videos! hahaha i still go to the video store hahahaha. ohh man.. im witch killed by crazy white people right now!!

cereal is soooo good. cinnamon toast crunch.

why is pigeon poop white?

can i get an eta on teleporting?

landslide fleetwood mac is beautiful. fleetwood mac isn’t a pimp, why not!?

mcdonalds is the richest thing i’ve ever felt sorry for, everybody used to love them now the world(healthy white americans) hates them, come on, happy meal, free toy and you didnt have to eat a whole box of cereal. The first time i knew i was a genius iI must have been about 4 and I asked my mother for cinnamon life cereal, thats a thinking mans breakfast, a real winner eats cinnamon fucking life cereal!  

im so happy right now:)

we really call it chinese food! i dont know why that sounds so funny to me, chinese. Food! hahahaha, ah food, you uh won uh luchuh time spesssaww! five fifee! that was really racist and im sorry.

i have to go to sleep now,

SUNDAY JULY 24TH (INSERT MIXTAPE FOG HORN NOISE) COMEDY SHOW  SPONSORED IN PART BY  ”CAP’N CRUNCH ®" CEREAL "YOU AND THE CAPTAIN MAKE HAPPEN! ®” FREE CAP’N CRUNCH GIVE AWAYS + 300,000 DOLLARS IN PRISES, DON’T FORGET TO ENTER INTO THE RAFFLE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP FOR TWO TO HAWAII! 


I stumbled across this gem! I used to watch this when i was a young lad growing up in the central district village of ye old seattle! It helped me become a hooligan! A ripple effect….

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